Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize