4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
