i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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