He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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