i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
