no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
