But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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