we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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