nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
