another moral hangover. fuck.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize