i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
bring money and cleavage
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I FOUND THE LEGS
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize