I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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