based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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