if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just googled if crying burns calories
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
