you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
