i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize