But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
