looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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