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i wish peter jackson would direct porn
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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