i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize