I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize