she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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