Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
