even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
