Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
