drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
