An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
