Pants 0. Shit 1.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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