there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
