That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
