please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dick very happy bro
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
