new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
