But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
