a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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