dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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