using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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