I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
