Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
