If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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