I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize