Don't you send me to vm
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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