we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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