your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
