After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize