Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
