It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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