I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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