That's intense
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
