If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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