This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I lost the right to judge tonight
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
