Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize