You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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