I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
