i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
