so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
