Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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