The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
