Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
