I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
